feel like listening? because i feel like talking

Hello everyone!

When I starting this blogging thing, I said, "YES! Finally a way to get all my thoughts out on paper, maybe make someone laugh, or just connect with someone who I thought I had nothing in common with." I also realize that you actually need to post things... LOL.

So, here I am, 10:03 on a sunday night after realizing that I missed Game of Thrones and didn't record it, and having the night-time snacking urges like I'm facing the electric chair tomorrow, and having a whole lot of things to say.

What's new? My new job starts in 2 weeks (can I get an amen?), so I've been dealing with that. But, its going to be great! After 2 nerve wracking interviews and completely re-writing my resume from scratch, its finally happening! I will admit, that I'll miss my whole team very much and will probably be a crying mess on my last day, but they have taught me so much about everything you can imagine and have been so supportive of my new transition that I could never thank them enough.

On a less professional thought, Buzzfeed recently made a video about not being "that girl". It's really stuck with me the past 2 weeks and perhaps changed some outlooks on my own life and thoughts.  When I watched the video I cried a bit (but I cry all the time so that really isn't anything new), so thanks for all the feels Buzzfeed on my bus ride home, I'm sure I looked like the most emotionally stable person in the whole world. Oh, and here's the link because I know you're all dying to watch this.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/dayshavedewi/this-video-is-for-every-woman-who-has-never-felt-like-that-g?bffbvid&utm_term=4ldqpj5#.xap8m2B3Y

I have never been THAT girl. I have never wanted to be. I'm sure in high school and maybe a year or 2 in college sure, but now? Hell no. Of course, I've always been told by society that I needed to be a size 2 to be appreciated and accepted in the world. And yes, I still struggle with that a lot much like the rest of the female and male population. So much so that when I was getting dressed for work last week and my go-to pencil skirt barely zipped, I sat on the floor and could barely hold back the self-loathing thoughts. So I needed to pick something else that actually fit properly, and it turned out to be a better choice because so many people complimented my outfit, and I realized that the fit I threw earlier that morning was completely un-necessary, and part of the problem.

I started taking cross-fit classes and I actually enjoy working out now. I also really like pizza, and I figured that as long as I'm working out, I should get to enjoy the pizza and all of its delicious-ness, and maybe next week the skirt will fit better.

I've also started understanding why people say, "always have something you love to do".  I thought that I had stuff like that, but once I starting my aerials class and hula hooping, I realized that I didn't have something that I truly loved to do and it was just for me. I have never been one to practice anything, (just ask my mom and the clarinet that collected dust during middle school). But, I find myself practicing with my hoops 1, 2, and sometimes 3 hours a day. It's good meditation for me. It's also good exercise and good way to express some creativity.

I guess what I'm trying to get across is that I don't think that I should have to change how I think or what I like to "fit in" and be "that girl". If I could go back to incredibly awkward with braces and bad acne me at 13, I'd tell me that everything will be fine, and that I've made some amazing friends and memories from the new hobbies I picked up along the way. I know I've said before that I needed to stop calling what I do and like 'weird' because they're not. They make more sense to me than I give them credit for, and I'm so happy with that.

Thanks for listening!
Jess <3

i recently fell in love

It's true. I recently fell in love.... with the circus.

In a google search for aerial yoga, I stumbled upon Air Temple Arts in New Haven CT.  It looked like an excellent work out as well as a good time so I gave it a shot.

This is me on my first day

Completely out of shape, minimal flexibility, certainly not the type of person you would see at the circus.

But I'm telling you, it was one of the best things I had ever done in my life.  AND WHAT A WORKOUT.  I couldn't wait for the next class, I was obsessed with watching performances on youtube, and I actually bought one of those door way pull up things to help get stronger for class! (it definitely works better if you actually use it though)

The circus has become a huge part of my life.  I've only been doing this since August of 2014, but I don't have any intentions of stopping any time soon.  The instructors are the nicest people that I have ever met who just want everyone to have a good time.  And the girls in my class? THE BEST.  The crowd that this particular studio attracts are the sweetest people I have the privilege of knowing and I couldn't be happier.  One of the best things I heard from that studio was that this was a judgement free zone, and anyone who felt other wise would be asked (politely of course) to leave.

It takes a different kind of person to like the circus.  Every time I would try to workout at the gym, I would give up because I got tired, or bored, or hungry.  But, no matter how tired our arms get, and how hot (or cold from the winter) we are making it until the end of class, finishing our conditioning, and as much as we struggle to lift our arms the next few days, it was still better than any group fitness or personal training session we could have ever had, and we're going to do it all again next week.

I also gave Spanish Web a try..... ouch.  Spanish Web is a soft canvas rope with a keeper, or a loop, at the top that you fit your wrist or your ankle through, hang with that one arm or leg, and someone at the bottom starts spinning the rope. HELLO NAUSEA. But seriously, it was difficult, and I didn't give 100% because I wasn't as into it as I was into the silks.

Here's me spinning at the last class I made it to.  This is after 5 or 6 weeks of class, and I needed to push myself to this point.

Pretty sweet huh? I thought so too.

So, right now I'm currently in aerial silks level 151.  And I have no idea what I'm in for. Except that I need to work on my inversions constantly, and not climbing with straight arms because I'll hurt my shoulders. Baby steps.

My dad is building me a rig for my backyard so I can practice all the time, instead of once a week. New Haven is a little far for me to drive more than 2 times a week. IM PUMPED FOR IT. And as long as my silks don't have any stretch and they're pink everything will be fine. Or maybe purple. Blue is nice too.

Hmm, this is why I don't make decisions very well.

Jess

p.s. here are some more pictures from circus class :)

first post!...ever

So, I mean this isn't my "first" post ever.  I've been posting since I was about 13, and myspace was just getting its start back when I was in middle school, and social media wasn't close to what it is today.

But, we've moved on since then.  

My name is Jessica (but I prefer Jess)

I started this blog because I've been reading blogs for the better part of the last year and a half, and realized that this is totally something I would LOVE to do.  

So, here is the start of a beautiful friendship :)

Jess